Juliette Portala

Have you ever tried biting your own fingers off? Probably not. But just in case you're considering having a go at a thumb or an index, it seems important to share the reasons why, despite their appearance, the ends of your hands are not made of soft baby carrots.

Finland, dear Finland, you who have been ranked as the happiest country in the world for eight years running, what don’t you have that the rest of us envy you? A strong welfare system, high-quality education, universal healthcare, transparent governance … and Santa Claus. How greedy of you!

For many of us, autumn is the time of peaceful strolls amid golden and ruby leaves, before winter comes to dampen our mood with its long, dark nights. But, on the other side of the world, September is the time for enthusiasts to buy the strongest crickets on the Chinese pet markets and to prepare for a fight. Or many fights.

Dear Neil Young, there is no need to search for a heart of gold anymore. The precious metal actually runs through your bloodstream, as well as many of your other organs. Some 0.2 milligrams of it in total, give or take.